


Behind the Mask

by Lian_Yu



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, First Kiss, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Natasha Romanov ( mentioned ), Not A Fix-It, Not Beta Read, Peggy Carter ( mentioned ), kinda at least - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 10:54:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14669625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lian_Yu/pseuds/Lian_Yu
Summary: Bucky Barnes was alive, until Steve Rogers killed him.





	Behind the Mask

 

 

It was the day before the mission on the train, everything was set and Steve was trying to sleep. He couldn't wait until the war was won and he and Bucky could go home. He just wanted it to be over, just wanted everyone to be okay. Steve needed all those deaths to stop - on both sides if he was being honest - except for HYDRA's members. That's the moment Bucky choose to enter his tent discretly.

 

“Buck? What's going on?” asked Steve.

 

Bucky hesitated a little, he bit his lips and then walked towards Steve bunk slowly. Bucky sat at the end of the it. Steve, confused, straightened himself up and sat as well, scooting over to be close to him.

 

“Nothing it's just...” Bucky swallowed and closed his eyes.

 

“It's okay, you can tell me anything.” said Steve as he brought his hand on Bucky's shoulder and squeezed it to reassure him. Bucky shivered at the touch and the blond tried to not read too much into that.

 

“When I was- When Hydra had me...” started Bucky. “When they had me, all I could think about is that I was about to die there. And I thought about all the things I wished I did. I wished I hugged my Ma' more. And Becca, I wished I woke her up the day I left, to say goodbye.”

 

Steve shifted a little closer, their thights touching, his hand still on Bucky's shoulder. Bucky's head was looking down on his knees and he seemed so sad, so hurt – no wonder with everything he just went through.

 

“It's okay Buck, you'll be able to do that when you get home.” said Steve confidently

 

“That's the thing Stevie... I thought about all the things I didn't do and I regretted it. I regretted so many things and if I die tomorrow-”

 

“You won't. I'll be with you. Til the end of the line remember?” said Steve. He was Captain America, he was supposed to be stronger now... But how do you react when your best friend talks about his death like it's a certainty? It was war, Steve wasn't a fool, he knew that too many people had died already and he knew that more would. But not Bucky- he couldn't lose Bucky. He already lost so much.

 

“I know punk.” chuckled Bucky. “But, if something goes wrong, I don't want to have as much regret as I did back then. I might not be able to travel back to see my Ma' or my sisters. But..”

 

Bucky finally faced Steve. They were so close he could feel his breath on his face, he could see his deep blue eyes looking right at him. Steve's eyes flickered to Bucky's lips for a second. He had to force himself not to lean in. Not to ruin his friendship with Bucky. He and Peggy were all he had left, but even with Peggy by his side he wasn't sure if he could stand to live in a world where Bucky hated him.

But then Bucky leaned in, he captured Steve's lips in his own. It was soft, a tender kiss. And Steve froze, not believing it was actually happening. As fast as he leaned in, Bucky pulled back. And Steve, like an idiot, didn't do anything. His mind simply didn't register what was happening.

 

“It's fine if you hate me, but I don't want to regret not doing this when I had the chance.” Bucky sounded so sad, and he was getting up, ready to walk out-

 

“I don't hate you.” said Steve in a rush, grabbing Bucky by the wrist. “I could never hate you.”

 

And with that, he tugged on Bucky wrist to turn him around and get him close to him again, settling his other hand on Bucky's back, kissing him like his life depended on it. It was sloppy but Bucky kissed back. Their knees were bumping together and Bucky had to lean down to keep kissing Steve. The blond pulled Bucky on his lap in one swift movement and they just kept kissing. Bucky's hands found Steve's hair and he held on. Even after they stopped kissing, even when they were out of breath and just resting their foreheads together.

And if they slept in the same bed that night, it was nobody's buisness but theirs.

 

The next day, Bucky Barnes fell. And Steve Rogers was the one left with regrets. He might've never told Bucky that he loved him, but he would avenge him.

 

 

It was years later, that Steve found himself in another war. Not one against aliens again, thanksfully, but one against HYDRA. It seemed like everything they did in his first war was pointless if HYDRA still existed. It seemed like Bucky's sacrifice was pointless.

He came face to face with the Winter Soldier, HYDRA's very own assassin. They fought on the bridge, it was hard, his opponent was enhanced too and had a metal arm. But he managed to keep him occupied long enough for Natasha to throw him a grenade launcher.

 _Where did she get that?_   Wondered Steve for a second.

The Soldier was just getting back on his feet when Steve fired. He caught a glimpse of the Soldier's mask on the ground and drove his eyes back to see his face when the grenade hit him. Steve rushed to check if the Soldier was really dead, ready to fight. There was a lot smoke, and when he got to the place the Soldier was propulsed to by the force of the impact, it wasn't pretty. The first thing he noticed was a metal arm laying on the ground, the second thing was the Soldier's stomach, there was nearly a hole in it. The third was the Soldier's face.

Steve breath caught in his troath.

He let his shield fall on the ground.

 

“Bucky?”

 

Steve fell on his knees and put one hand on the Soldier's- _Bucky's_ chest to shake him. He used his free hand to push a lock of hair out of Bucky's face to get a clearer look at his face. It was him. There was no doubt in that. He vaguely heard Natasha yelling his name in the distance but Steve couldn't bring himself to care. He didn't cry this time, not like the first time he lost Bucky. He felt numb and too many things at the same time. Steve clung to Bucky's body and kept shaking it.

 

“No, no, no, no, no... Bucky, please you have to wake up! Bucky!” yelled Steve desperately.

 

There was no sign of life, but Steve kept shaking his body. There was blood on his hands, and he wasn't sure if the wet thing he felt on his cheeks was blood or his own tears. He couldn't move, he couldn't leave Bucky- not again.

 

“I love you Bucky, please wake up...” his voice broke.

 

All this time he blamed HYDRA more than himself for Bucky's death.

But Bucky Barnes was alive, until Steve Rogers killed him.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry, I'm awful.  
> No Beta reader so any faults / typos are mine, feel free to correct me! ( also I'm not english lol )  
> I don't know what it takes to kill a super-soldier tbh, so Bucky might've survived having a hole in his stomach! Just like he survived being turned into dust!  
> Also this is my shortest work yet but I was exhausted when I wrote this.


End file.
